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I woke up on the wrong side of the afternoon, disconcerting words danced around my head. Did I say too much or not enough? Perspective depends on where you’re standing. I was lost when I learned how to shut it off, been tearing down walls since that day and still... Like your favorite Futures song goes: “I’ve always been the easy kill...guess I always will.” And I was one step shy of that thinnest line between folding my hand and laying all my cards on the table. But I went all in and I let you win. It was close enough to the real thing as far as I know. I made my way to the living room, where we spent a lifetime in just a few nights where I barely knew you, but you were all promise on this side of paradise. It was here that I threw my doubts against the walls in hopes that something I couldn’t reach might fall into place. I was one step shy of that thinnest line between folding my hand and laying all my cards on the table. But I let you in. I let you in. And I know it’s true that I deserve to be set aside. I just wanted you to know I tried to cross that window that opened up long ago. Just when I caught sight of something beautiful on the other side it slammed shut on me. And ever since then I’ve been distant, cold, and shaking.